Overheard in Passing: Hawaii Day 11 In Which Caroline and Gaby won’t Shut Up, and People Pass Out Left and Right

4:30 came very early but somehow we made it, with Mr. Chatty the taxi driver delivering us to the airport with a running commentary on the population breakdown of Oahu which would probably have been far more interesting at any other time of day, but I did remember him saying that the population of Honolulu is one million, and that 80K of that is military personnel. That strikes me as amazing now, but I think I could only manage a very small head nod at the time. Sorry Mr. Chatty. Maybe he thought I was speechless with interest.

The first flight to San Francisco was without incident except that we had four year old twins Caroline and Gaby in front of us, who were very cute except when Caroline was getting upset with Gaby for sitting in such a way that she couldn’t see out the window. Never mind that Gaby couldn’t either as they were both in the centre section of the seats.

Caroline: I can’t see out Gaby is in THE WAY

Gaby: I am not

Lise (the mum): Caroline please be quiet Gaby can’t help where she sits

Caroline: but I want to see out the window THAT WAY

Lise: Well look out the window by Daddy and Reese

Caroline: NO I WANT TO LOOK OUT THAT WAY AND GABY IS IN THE WAY!

Gaby: I AM NOT!

Lisa: Who wants a donut?

CAroline: I DON’T WANT A DONUT I WANT A SEE THAT WAY! WAAAHHHH WAHHHHHHHHHH WAHHHHH

Lise: Trevor can you give Reece this donut?

Caroline: WAHHHWAHHHHHWAHHHHHWAHHHHWAHHH

Gaby: I’ll have the chocolate sprinkles.

Caroline: I WANT THE CHOCOLATE SPINKLES (sic) I WANT THE CHOCOLATE SPINKLES WAHHHWAHHHWA HWAHHHWAHHHH GABY IS IN MY WAY!!

Lise: Trevor, pass me my eye patch and those earplugs, would you?

Me: Seriously?

Gaby: snoring

Lisa: Snoring

Trevor: Snoring

Reece: Snoring

Caroline: WAHHHAWHWWHAHHHWHHAHHWHAAAA

Needless to say we were all thrilled when Caroline fell asleep too.

We were not thrilled however, when the plane landed and we were all in that twilight zone of waiting for them to open the damn doors, and poor Reece passed out right in front of me. Just keeled over, out cold, right in the aisle. Everyone freaked out, I pressed the call button a bunch of times and then just resorted to yelling “HEY WE NEED SOME HELP DOWN HERE”. The flight attendants wandered back but of course the doors were still closed so everyone was milling around in the aisles getting in the way trying to get their bags etc. Trevor picked up his son and lay him down on some seats, and I tried to get a barf bag ready for the poor kid but couldn’t find one, at which point he promptly threw up everywhere (Reece, not his dad). I escaped relatively unscathed, and spent a few moments trying to calm down Caroline and Gaby while Lise freaked out everywhere. Thankfully the doors were opened a few minutes later and we could all leave. Poor Reece was looking a little better by then but had to stay on the plane and wait for the medical staff to arrive. It was some time before we saw them leave the gate area, Reece in a wheelchair, Caroline and Gaby running ahead trying to push each other off the moving walkway. I could hear Gaby saying “ Caroline said I called her stupid by accident. I DID NOT”. Yep, that’s right Caroline, Gaby meant to call you stupid, it was no accident.

We had to hang around in San Fran for a few hours so we found a quiet spot and laughed at all the tourists who had face masks and eye patches and their sweaters and jackets draped completely over their heads and bodies while they slept.

They’re probably going to be laughing long after I’m dead from catching Ebola or Hemorrhagic fever from contaminated plane air that’s been recirculating since 1962.

Umm excuse me. You have your sweater on your head.

On the flight to Victoria, Zoe and I were happily sitting watching Star Wars, in our usual seats at the very back of the plane, beside the washroom, when Kent pointed out that there was a women sitting down in the bathroom with the door open. I looked over to see a very pale woman, sweating profusely (the woman, not me), sitting on the toilet (seat down) and looking like she was going to pass out. At this point I was starting to wonder if it was me. What was going on?

I started pushing the call button, and the sole attendant eventually made her way to the back after I began waving my arms up and down and pointing into the washroom. The poor woman (Leslie) was looking terrible by now and so I had her put her head down while I rearranged myself so that I could catch her if she keeled over. I wasn’t going to be caught unawares this time. I even had my barf bag at the ready. The flight attendant was marginally helpful and produced a wet cloth and some ice for the woman and told her to put it on the back of her neck. It seemed to me like this might constrict blood flow to her head even further so I suggested she just mop her forehead with it and keep her head down. I think she actually needed oxygen and to lie down but that wasn’t going to happen. We toughed it out until she felt a bit better and the flight attendant helped her back to a couple of empty seats where she could sort of lay down. Poor thing sat there looking pale and sweaty for the rest of the flight and was also taken off in a wheelchair like Reece.

I was glad to get home in one piece.

In Waikiki, in an effort to keep the Hawaiian language alive, they have stamped the sidewalk stones with Hawaiian word and their meanings. Smart.