Hawaii Day 11 In Which Caroline and Gaby won’t Shut Up, and People Pass Out Left and Right

4:30 came very early but somehow we made it, with Mr. Chatty the taxi driver delivering us to the airport with a running commentary on the population breakdown of Oahu which would probably have been far more interesting at any other time of day, but I did remember him saying that the population of Honolulu is one million, and that 80K of that is military personnel. That strikes me as amazing now, but I think I could only manage a very small head nod at the time. Sorry Mr. Chatty. Maybe he thought I was speechless with interest.

The first flight to San Francisco was without incident except that we had four year old twins Caroline and Gaby in front of us, who were very cute except when Caroline was getting upset with Gaby for sitting in such a way that she couldn’t see out the window. Never mind that Gaby couldn’t either as they were both in the centre section of the seats.

Caroline: I can’t see out Gaby is in THE WAY

Gaby: I am not

Lise (the mum): Caroline please be quiet Gaby can’t help where she sits

Caroline: but I want to see out the window THAT WAY

Lise: Well look out the window by Daddy and Reese

Caroline: NO I WANT TO LOOK OUT THAT WAY AND GABY IS IN THE WAY!

Gaby: I AM NOT!

Lisa: Who wants a donut?

CAroline: I DON’T WANT A DONUT I WANT A SEE THAT WAY! WAAAHHHH WAHHHHHHHHHH WAHHHHH

Lise: Trevor can you give Reece this donut?

Caroline: WAHHHWAHHHHHWAHHHHHWAHHHHWAHHH

Gaby: I’ll have the chocolate sprinkles.

Caroline: I WANT THE CHOCOLATE SPINKLES (sic) I WANT THE CHOCOLATE SPINKLES WAHHHWAHHHWA HWAHHHWAHHHH GABY IS IN MY WAY!!

Lise: Trevor, pass me my eye patch and those earplugs, would you?

Me: Seriously?

Gaby: snoring

Lisa: Snoring

Trevor: Snoring

Reece: Snoring

Caroline: WAHHHAWHWWHAHHHWHHAHHWHAAAA

Needless to say we were all thrilled when Caroline fell asleep too.

We were not thrilled however, when the plane landed and we were all in that twilight zone of waiting for them to open the damn doors, and poor Reece passed out right in front of me. Just keeled over, out cold, right in the aisle. Everyone freaked out, I pressed the call button a bunch of times and then just resorted to yelling “HEY WE NEED SOME HELP DOWN HERE”. The flight attendants wandered back but of course the doors were still closed so everyone was milling around in the aisles getting in the way trying to get their bags etc. Trevor picked up his son and lay him down on some seats, and I tried to get a barf bag ready for the poor kid but couldn’t find one, at which point he promptly threw up everywhere (Reece, not his dad). I escaped relatively unscathed, and spent a few moments trying to calm down Caroline and Gaby while Lise freaked out everywhere. Thankfully the doors were opened a few minutes later and we could all leave. Poor Reece was looking a little better by then but had to stay on the plane and wait for the medical staff to arrive. It was some time before we saw them leave the gate area, Reece in a wheelchair, Caroline and Gaby running ahead trying to push each other off the moving walkway. I could hear Gaby saying “ Caroline said I called her stupid by accident. I DID NOT”. Yep, that’s right Caroline, Gaby meant to call you stupid, it was no accident.

We had to hang around in San Fran for a few hours so we found a quiet spot and laughed at all the tourists who had face masks and eye patches and their sweaters and jackets draped completely over their heads and bodies while they slept.

They’re probably going to be laughing long after I’m dead from catching Ebola or Hemorrhagic fever from contaminated plane air that’s been recirculating since 1962.

Umm excuse me. You have your sweater on your head.

On the flight to Victoria, Zoe and I were happily sitting watching Star Wars, in our usual seats at the very back of the plane, beside the washroom, when Kent pointed out that there was a women sitting down in the bathroom with the door open. I looked over to see a very pale woman, sweating profusely (the woman, not me), sitting on the toilet (seat down) and looking like she was going to pass out. At this point I was starting to wonder if it was me. What was going on?

I started pushing the call button, and the sole attendant eventually made her way to the back after I began waving my arms up and down and pointing into the washroom. The poor woman (Leslie) was looking terrible by now and so I had her put her head down while I rearranged myself so that I could catch her if she keeled over. I wasn’t going to be caught unawares this time. I even had my barf bag at the ready. The flight attendant was marginally helpful and produced a wet cloth and some ice for the woman and told her to put it on the back of her neck. It seemed to me like this might constrict blood flow to her head even further so I suggested she just mop her forehead with it and keep her head down. I think she actually needed oxygen and to lie down but that wasn’t going to happen. We toughed it out until she felt a bit better and the flight attendant helped her back to a couple of empty seats where she could sort of lay down. Poor thing sat there looking pale and sweaty for the rest of the flight and was also taken off in a wheelchair like Reece.

I was glad to get home in one piece.

In Waikiki, in an effort to keep the Hawaiian language alive, they have stamped the sidewalk stones with Hawaiian word and their meanings. Smart.

 

Thanks for reading,

Cheers,

Jane

Hawaii Day 10: In Which I Find the Death Star, Your A$$ is Calling, and The Trump Tower Sucks.

The day before our last day was mostly spent in denial that we only had two days left. So we went shopping, and not to the beach. I’m not sure why. It was all extremely fancy and overpriced, but I did find this Lego Death Star, which was AWESOME.

See Luke and Leia in the garbage room? C3-PO and R2 are on another level, and Darth is up on top. Pretty much anyone who is anyone in Star Wars is here on the Death Star. I want one for my birthday please.

We did come to our senses in the afternoon and spent it at the beach, and the pool, which we thought was our pool, but was actually the pool for the hotel next door, The Modern. But they didn’t mind too much after we all ordered $15 cocktails. Or mocktails in my case. This place had a great pool and bar which became our happy hour locale each day. If ever we lost a member of our group, they could usually be found at The Modern having a drink and lounging on one of the poolside beds. The place attracted a younger crowd, as evidenced by the message we found on one of the loungers

It says “Is your butt butt-dialing me cause that ass is calling”. Quite clever, I thought. Not sure when I would actually say it, as I suspect it would sound ridiculous coming from me. I would have to be 6ft tall and all curvy and probably African-American to really deliver that line properly.

The sunset was wicked that night from our balcony.

After dark, we went out for stroll, and found ourselves at the new Trump Tower Hotel. I had heard it was absolutely amazing, so we went in, prepared to be floored, and came out bored. Underwhelming, Mr.Trump.

This was the pool. Lame.

I’ll take the Moana Surfrider any day over the Trump. Beautiful original woodwork and a fantastic pool and bar right on the beach.

We also found this fabulous tea and gelato store where we all refueled on matcha and passion fruit gelato, and pomegranate green tea. So good.

Americans are funny about their tea. They don’t quite get it. you have to specify ‘hot’ tea when you order your morning tea otherwise you get a glass of cold unsweetened tea. It’s a bit weird. Tea is already hot. They don’t make you ask for hot toast. Not yet anyway. Could you do something about the hot tea thing, America? Pass an amendment that makes it unlawful to not understand that tea is already hot?

Actually, don’t worry about the tea/toast thing. Please focus on doing something about all the guns first. And good luck with that. Stupid NRA.

You’re welcome.

It is possible to walk several miles at night in Waikiki there is that much going on. It’s kind of awesome. But also tiring, so we found our way back to the condo, and collapsed into bed.

Thanks for reading,

Cheers,

Jane

Hawaii Day 9 In Which We Soak Up the Hawaii Five-0 Vibe

Back when I was trying to find somewhere to stay in Waikiki, I happened upon a listing for a condo at the Ilikai Hotel. I’ve always wanted to stay at here so I was super happy to find a condo with three bedrooms that would fit us all nicely. I got happier and happier to learn first that it was an ocean view condo, and then that it was actually on the top floor of the hotel. It was the freakin penthouse! And not just any penthouse, but the iconic penthouse of Hawaii Five-0 fame, where Jack Lord stands on the balcony and the helicopter zooms in to take a shot of him.

Check this out on YouTube:

The condo is probably one of the best places I’ve ever stayed: sweeping views of Waikiki and the pacific, a cool seventies feel to the place with original avocado appliances, floor to ceiling  windows and mirrors and cool marble tile floors. We kept expecting to see Hugh Hefner sitting in one of the lounge chairs or anyone in a white suit surrounded by scantily clad women.

I must admit to being a little worried when I booked the place as I have a bit of an issue with heights, as you may have gathered reading previous posts from me. I had a little talk with myself about not being a complete idiot and that I MUST NOT inflict my fears on my kids, and to generally just get a grip. I listened to myself for about 5 seconds, and then decided to go straight to the inflicting, by begging/lecturing/ordering everyone to follow a list of rules regarding the deck, me, and the 26 floors below.

1. do not joke about jumping over the railing.
2. do not pretend to push, throw, jostle, nudge, or chuck anyone or anything over the railing.
3. do not pretend to trip and fall thereby hurling yourself over the railing.
4. do not even talk about doing any of these activities anywhere where I can hear you.
5. do not exchange eye-rolling with another member of the group if you see me crawling around on the floor.
6. do not shake your head and walk off muttering rude things about me if you see me bent over with my arms outstretched, white-faced, and lurching back into the condo.
7. do not try to bribe me to come out on the deck.
8. do not hide somewhere on the deck and then make a loud screaming noise that gets progressively quieter.
9. do not play Blind Man’s Bluff on the deck.
10. do not use the deck chair as a pretend springboard.

Having read everyone the Riot Act, I was pleasantly surprised to see that the nice people who had designed the Ilikai back in 1963, had with the exception of one corner, installed a very solid-looking three foot wide ledge all the way around the building just below the deck so that it was not necessary to look straight down into the swirling depths of the building. This was extremely thoughtful of them and made it so that I could actually manage to walk out on the deck, and even hold on to the railing without looking like I had just been dug up from my grave.

I still felt like the entire world had spun off its axis if I was out there for too long.

The best comment came from Silas, though, who I overheard asking his dad: “Would it be OK, if Jane’s not out here, for me to walk on the ledge?”

Even I had to laugh when I heard that.

Believe it or not, I actually took these photos!

View to the right.

View to the left.

Down to the Lagoon. Yes, it’s on a bit of an angle. Rule #11: Do not mention that my photos from the deck suck.

Straight down to the pool, taken by me holding my camera out over the edge while looking the other way…Still makes me feel queasy to even look at this photo…

Straight ahead, people.

I won’t bore you with anymore pics, as you probably get the idea…

I will mention, however, that I especially enjoyed the elevator that zoomed to the top of the building, zipping past all the other floors on its way to ‘PH’.

I also enjoyed this sign in the elevator  for the local coffee shop, where, apparently, they don’t serve coffee, and also, they don’t roast themselves. What a relief.

 

Needless to say, we were diggin’ this sweet place on top of the world and I plan to retire here as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading,

Cheers,

Jane

Hawaii Day 8 – In Which We Say Goodbye to the Surfboard, and Say Hello to the Sun.

Our last day on Kauai was bittersweet. I do love it there, and there is something to be said for returning to the same place to really gain a sense for how a place changes, and stays the same, over the years.

It’s too bad it rained almost the entire time we were on Kauai, but we still managed to have a great time. Kauai has a laid back, end-of-the-world feel to it that is intoxicating and although it was one of our wettest visits ever, I still felt sad about leaving.

It was raining like crazy when we packed up the cars to head to the airport, but we still had one thing to do before we left. Jacob’s awesome thrift store surfboard had served him well, but was too big to take on the plane, and to expensive to ship home. So we decided to do a little pay-it-forward experiment, and sharpie a message onto it, then leave the board at the beach, with the hopes that someone who wanted/needed it would have the chance to use it while they were on Kauai, then pass it on to someone else.

Nice work, Jacob.

He also put our email address on the board and wrote ‘send me some pics’. It would be really great to actually get a picture from some happy soul.

We left our place a little late and of course the weather was terrible and we got stuck behind a Kauai slowpoke. Traffic on this little island is outrageously bad, but we thought we might be OK at 11am. We were definitely wrong about that and at one point, wondered if we would even make our 1pm flight to Honolulu.

When we finally arrived at the airport at 12:20 pm it was a huge rush to drop off the rental cars and get checked in. We were a sweaty bunch when we were finally all in line. A very long line. We were flying Go! airlines and the line up for the 1pm flight was extremely long. We grew increasingly anxious and fretful until the woman in line behind us casually informed us that Go! Airlines was actually more commonly known in these parts as No Go! Airlines and that it was likely the flight would be at least delayed, if not cancelled. She was a regular interisland flyer and this was her experience. No sooner were the words out of her mouth than a message flashed up on the screen beside our flight informing us it had been delayed to 2:20pm.

Several people in line ahead of us would now miss their connections, stomped off swearing. One woman beside me angrily declared this to be ‘THE FIRST AND LAST TIME’ she would ever fly with Go!

And so we waited and moved our bags .06 of an inch at a time until we were finally able to check in. Then it was off to the equally long line at security. I am very pleased to be able to announce here that we found the leftover New Year’s firecracker in Zoe’s pocket BEFORE we went through security. Yep.

We finally made it to the gate and sat, and sat, and sat, as the flight was delayed and delayed and delayed. It seems that time really does slow down here, and it doesn’t matter where you are in the world, you’re always on Kauai time.

Eventually the flight took off, with us on it, but only because I finally, in the absence of any announcement, went up to the desk and asked if they were boarding our flight yet.

Me: Are you boarding flight 1051 yet? We’ve been waiting forever…

Rachelle: 1051? Go! 1051?

Me: Yes…

Rachelle: They are on final call for flight 1051. It’s almost ready for take off.

Me: Well was someone going to tell us that?

Rachelle: It was announced several times.

Me: Is no one curious why the plane is empty? I think we’re all sitting here waiting. Have been since 1pm as a matter of fact. But no rush really…

Rachelle: Like I said, it’s final call so please have your boarding passes ready and proceed through gate 7a to…

Me: yes yes…

Single mom behind me: Are you going to announce flight 1051 for boarding soon?

Me: See?!

Rachelle: Ma’am it’s final call for…

Single mom: What?!! SARAH, MATTHEW, GET OUR BAGS! NOW!I’m NEVER flying GO! again.

Me: It’s more like GO! figure it all out yourself! or GO! wait over there for 5 hours or GO! find another airline.

Rachelle: Please proceed to ga…

The flight was mercifully short, if held together with paperclips,

and we were soon in Honolulu. We high-tailed it out of there and called a cab to take us to our hotel. We were pleasantly surprised when a huge limo showed up.

This was a far cry from our last hours in Kauai: the sun was out and we were in a limo, and it was all good.

Next up: Our sweet Hawaii 5-0 condo.

Thanks for reading,

Cheers,

Jane

Hawaii Day 7- In Which I am Nearly Swept off a Cliff, We Run Into General Julie’s Husband, and Katy Perry Pees on a Wall.

On our last full day in Kauai, I was REALLY hoping for some sunny weather. I was kind of counting on it actually. Alas, it was not to be. We woke up to strong winds and sideways rain and we all felt a bit disappointed as our plans to spend a sunny day on the beach blew out the window.

Instead, we spent the morning at the Kilauea Lighthouse, which was actually better than expected, and included a bit of a show by a pod of spinner dolphins who were in the bay.

The place is also a bird refuge and there are tons of Nenes, the Hawaiian Goose, all wandering around looking like they aren’t sure what to do next, and mostly trying to avoid being blown off a cliff.

Nenes can read, I guess.

The surf was huge and the winds were very strong. I was blown and buffeted around and could barely stand up at times. I was also, in my usual fashion, sure that I was going to be blown of the ledge and into the surf where I would be dashed against the rocks to my death. If that didn’t happen, then either Jacob, or Zoe, or both, were going to somehow trip or hurl themselves off the cliff from great heights and fall to their deaths.

Fortunately none of this happened and we made it safely to the visitor centre to read up on the history of the lighthouse. While we were there, we met the super friendly and knowledgeable volunteer guide Norm Schuller, who told us all about the albatross that live at the lighthouse, and several other bits of trivia, until he noticed that Kent was wearing his new Hanalei Canoe Club tshirt that it had been ‘suggested’ (ordered) he purchase by General Julie. Turns out he was Colonel Julie’s husband, (Norm, not Kent) and knew everything about us already as he had been debriefed by the Colonel after our canoe boot camp session the day before. Apparently, things went better than I thought as he had only nice things to say about us and reported that he had been told we were a very nice group and had done quite well for a ‘bunch of novices’. Small World here on Kauai.

He was a charming man, and his wife was lovely too, and it was great to meet both of them.

Love this…

We left the lighthouse and stopped for some lunch before making our way back to the house to grab Jacob’s surfboard and head to a beach with some great waves near Kapa’a. This is the same beach we had visited two years ago when Pepi sliced his toe open and we hung out while he got stitches at the hospital up the road. Unfortunately, it was closed due to high surf, so we headed back to Hanalei for a swim in the rain. There were quite a few people in the water, and Jacob paddled out to the far break with his board.

We had to get a bit creative on the drive home as we had the smaller car and couldn’t fit the board in the back. Thanks to Silas for coming up with this idea:

Then Mel rolled up the windows and it was all good.

It was our last night in Hanalei so we went for dinner at the Tahiti Nui, made famous by its role in the movie The Descendants, starring George Clooney and a bunch of other people and filmed right in Hanalei. Everyone here, it seems, was either in the movie somehow, or knows someone who was in it. I still haven’t seen it but apparently it captures the Hanalei spirit perfectly.

The bar at the Tahiti Nui is a favourite with the stars and Zoe was intrigued to hear that we had just missed Katy Perry and John Meyer by a few days. She was possibly more fascinated by the revelation from our server that Katy Perry had been caught peeing around the back of the building. Glad I missed that. It would be a bit awkward, no?

Owner: Hey, lady, dis ain’t no public toilet! You gotta pee you can use da toilet!

Katy Perry: But I’m Katy Perry.

Owner: Yeah right and I’m Elvis. Move along, lady!

Katy Perry: But I pissed on here and I liked it!

Owner: Disgustin’. What kind of girl are you anyway.

Katy Perry: I’m a California girl. It’s undeniable.

Owner: Oh yeah? Well next time you can use the bathroom like all de other girls. Go on home now!

Katy Perry: Fine. Come on, John.

John Meyer: But your body is a wonderland…

I‘m sure it didn’t go quite like that…

Anyway, we ate ribs and shrimp and huge steaks and listened to a local band sing harmonies and play their ukuleles and guitars before heading home to bed.The sun never did come out, but their were some impressive stars that night and we all slept well on our last night.

Tomorrow we fly to Waikiki, and hopefully some sunshine.

Thanks for reading.

Cheers,

Jane

Hawaii Day 6 – In Which I am Conscripted by the Hanalei Canoe Club.

Today wasn’t as rainy and windy as it has been, which was a good thing as Pepi had planned for us to join in an outrigger canoe session at the Hanalei Canoe Club.

When we arrived at the Canoe Club I wasn’t sure what to expect. Actually that’s not entirely true. I was expecting a group of happy Hawaiians wearing grass skirts and flower leis on their heads, maybe a pig steaming in a pit somewhere while natives played ukuleles, while several outrigger canoes carved from logs and filled with Hawaiians wearing only grass thongs swooshed by down the river. We would be welcomed with some sort of ceremony, and then we would all step gracefully into our own canoe, and paddle off down the river, plucking bananas and coconuts from the overhanging trees.

So when Brigadier General (Tall) Julie, Colonel (Short) Julie, and Lance Corporal (Stocky) Diane, all of the US Marine Outrigger Canoe Corps, Hanalei Crew, greeted us at the gate, I was slightly surprised.

Within seconds of arriving, Tall Julie was barking out orders to fill out waivers, Short Julie had us all snapping to attention as she handed out paddles, and lining up to put the fiberglass shells in the water.

Jacob and Pepi Awaiting orders.

After we were kitted out, we received our standing orders from Short Julie on how to hold the paddle, how to sit in the canoe, and exactly how to complete a stroke.

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: TROOPS! YOU WILL HOLD THE TOP OF THE PADDLE LIKE THIS!

Us: Ummm like how?...sorry could you show us that ag…

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: BOTTOM HAND WILL BE ONLY ONE HAND WIDTH ABOVE THE BOTTOM OF THE SHAFT!

Us: Oh wait, Sorry, where does my left hand go?

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: ATTENTION! YOU MUST LEAN FORWARD AND LIFT YOUR OPPOSING BUTT CHEEK OFF THE BENCH, WHILE DIPPING THE PADDLE INTO THE WATER AT AN ANGLE THAT YOU MUST DETERMINE USING THE PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM, AND THE QUADRATIC EQUATION, WHERE x IS THE PREVAILING WIND SPEED, AND Y IS YOUR WEIGHT DIVIDED BY YOUR BODY MASS INDEX. TROOPS! SOLVE FOR Q AND PULL BACK TO YOUR KNEE! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!

Us: Wha…?

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: PADDLE HAND FOOT WILL ALWAYS BE FORWARD

Us: What’s a paddle hand foot? Did she give me one of those? I’m not sure about wha…

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: FORWARD MARCH!

Us: Yes Ma’am

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: THAT’S ‘SIR’ TO YOU BUNCH OF NOVICES!

As we moved toward the boats I nervously hoped that we wouldn’t be sent out on our own and so I was actually relieved when General and Colonel Julie debated who should sit where on the boat. Apparently Seats 1 (stroke) and 6 (steer) were taken by the two Julies and Diane, so we were slotted into the remaining seats based on apparent ability, or disability as the case may be. I ended up in seat 5, which I was later told was the ‘Princess Seat’. I think I took this fairly well although I noticed that no one carried me into my seat.

Within a few minutes we were off, and stroking our way down the Hanalei River. I had General Julie behind me, and as a result I think my stroke definitely improved. It was either that, or be thrown from the boat for insubordination. I also learned that it is very important to keep perfect time with whoever is in front of you, or risk the scorn of the rest of the boat. It seems that I had particular trouble keeping time judging by the constant and loud counting and calling out that was going on behind me.

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: NUMBER FIVE, FALL IN

Me: oh sorry I’ll just try and spee…

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: NUMBER FIVE YOU’RE OFF AGAIN. I SAID TEN, ELEVEN, TWELVE, THIRTEEN, FOURTEEN, HUT! HO!

Me: Right I’m trying to…HO!

Lieutenant Colonel Julie: NUMBER FIVE, I SAID FALL IN! HUT HO!

And so it went. After a while we did get into a rhythm, and actually started to really enjoy ourselves. The river was the colour of coffee, and yellow and white flowers floated by on the surface. Bananas and bamboo swayed over head and the rain stayed away,

We paddled five miles, and were all happily exhausted at the end of it, even though it was only noon. We picked up some lunch and headed to the beach for an afternoon of playing in the waves. We’ve learned by now not to let a few clouds get us down.

Another day in paradise.

Thanks for reading

Cheers,

Jane

 

Hawaii Day 5: In Which we Eat Noodles, Jacob scores a surfboard, and Dylan Orders the Worst Shave Ice Ever.

Today we woke up to rain again. Actually, it wasn’t just raining, it was freakin’ POURING. It was raining sideways in a way that makes November in Victoria look like rain kindergarten. It was ridiculous. It was also one of those days when none of us could get our shit together to do anything. We flopped around, looking out the window, sitting down on the couch, making tea, getting up again, looking out the window again.

Finally we decided to get back in the car and find the sun. We had planned to go to Koke’e National Forest Reserve, with a stop at a local saiman (noodle) shop in Lihue.

After driving all around Lihue for forever and a day, and managing to actually drive right past the damn place without knowing it, we finally made it in the door. According to the locals, it is completely packed all the time, regardless of day or time. Today was no different. We stood inside the door forever waiting for a place to come free at the Formica  counters that wound through the room, and watched in amazement as a little old lady boiled, grilled, and fried order after after. Two other women took orders and ‘cleaned’ tables.

We finally got a seat and waited for the waitress, who looked like she may have been in the restaurant since 1964, (that’s her on the right above) to take our order. There isn’t much choice; it’s basically noodles, noodles or noodles, with a couple of variations like shrimp or pork on the side. This is helpful for the Ancient Grumpy Waitress Lady as she doesn’t speak, English or otherwise, unless entirely necessary. She has reduced the whole business of taking orders down to a sharp tipping back of the head/jutting out of the chin motion , in the general direction of the person ordering, combined with a dismissive backhanded wave toward anyone else who may have the nerve to want to order.

So we ordered noodles (just to keep things easy), and waited for them to show up. And waited. Once or twice Ancient Grumpy Waitress Lady came by with something we hadn’t ordered and we tried to explain to her that we hadn’t ordered it. She would frown and either take it back to the kitchen, or give it to some other unsuspecting customer.

 

Eventually, we got our food, and it was definitely worth the wait.

Except for the Spam. That wasn’t on the menu.

The best part was the Lilikoi Chiffon Pie for dessert. SO GOOD.

After lunch, we ended up at the a thrift shop, where Jacob scored himself a ‘new’ shortboard.

Which luckily we could fit in the car.

We still hadn’t found any sun so we carried on driving around the south west coast of the island to Waimea, where it is obligatory to buy a Shave Ice at Jojo’s. They must be absolutely terrible for you, but they do taste good. I had POG and Zoe was into the rootbeer and raspberry.

One little tiny guy in front of me ordered the horrific sounding coffee, lime and blueberry. Or rather, his dad (who I will call Brian) ordered it for him, apparently without thinking if that was a good idea, or if the mom (Kirsten) would approve:

Brian: Yeah I’ll get a strawberry for myself and Dylan here will have a…what did you want Buddy? Coffee, Lime and Blueberry? Yeah he’ll have Coffee, Lime and Blueberry.

Dude: That’s one strawberry and one Coffee, Lime and Blueberry? You sure?

Brian: Yeah thanks that’s good. Right Buddy?

Brief musical interlude while we wait for Brian and Dylan to get their shave ices, and Dylan’s mom, Kirsten, appears on the scene….

Dude: One strawberry and one coffee lime and blueberry

Kirsten: Dylan did you order that? Brian did you let him order Coffee…oh that looks disgusting. And it smells awful! Why didn’t you get pineapple? Coffee? and lime??? gross!

Dylan: mummy can I have my ice

Brian: That’s what he wanted…sorry I didn’t…

Kirsten (with icy look at Brian): Dylan honey mummy’s going to get you a better shave ice. Daddy wasn't thinking. Again. This is just like that time with the steak and mushrooms.

Dylan: but mommy

Kirsten: We’ll have a strawberry and pineapple please. Why did you ever let him order coffee and lime together? And blueberry!

Dude: I’m not here to judge…I just take the orders.

At which point we left as Brian was starting to look a bit pissed off. I was hoping to hear more about the steak and mushrooms but it was getting a bit late.

On our way into town, we had spotted an area where lots of cars were parked along the side of the highway. Always a good sign that something interesting is nearby, in my experience. We parked and found a trail through the trees. About 200 metres later, the trail opened onto this:

These secret beaches are the best – no one around, just sand and waves. We had a great couple of hours here, and Jacob tried out his new board:

Comment of the day goes to Zoe, while playing in the waves: “I’m never getting out of here, ever!”

After the sun went down, we packed everything back to the car for another nighttime drive back to Hanalei, where the torrential rain was still coming down. Ah well. It will be sunny tomorrow.

Thanks for reading

Cheers,

Jane